Thursday Wordplay

Today's edition: Variations on "Off like a prom dress" as brought to you by Lacy and Ashley.

Off like a hand on a burner

Off like a bra at Mardi Gras

Off like a light before sex with someone ugly

Off like a Nutella lid

Off like a race car on the green light

Off like sandals on a sandy beach

Off like a wedding ring at a bachelor party


Please share your submissions in the comments.

I'm Sorry I'm Not Married Yet, Kid.

I've been spending a lot of time lately wondering what 12-year-old Ashley would think of me. What spurred this reflection? I have no idea. But it happens every time I listen to Bon Iver. Which makes no sense, because his music really has nothing to do with childhood. But, nonetheless, I find myself constantly wondering what child me would think of adult me.

Firstly, she'd be stoked that I finished college so quickly; "Good work, adult me! Good work. But accounting? Huh..." She'd be ecstatic about the traveling I've been able to do; "We've been to New York? And London? And Paris?! We rock!" Little Ashley would be proud that we own a car now (and would think my car was the coolest thing ever) and that we have a grown-up job. She'd probably be confused and surprised about my Coachella experience, but I think she'd recognize that it will be awesome one day for her. She'd be so happy that we're still friends with the same people.

But... She'd be very disappointed with us that I haven't found someone to share my life with. Which depresses adult me just a bit. I told this to my mom, and she said, nah, young you would recognize the awesome life you've had. But I know a little 12-year-old, my Little Sister, Ariel. And she's constantly asking why I'm not dating or married yet. Kids, right? They just don't get it. I take solace in knowing that adult me is so happy with my life up to now. But I am a bit saddened in what Little Ashley would think of me. She already has confidence issues; I really don't want to add that "you're still single" burden on her.

Cheer up, kid. You'll get it some day. I hope. In the meantime, look through all these awesome travel trinkets I've obtained.

P.S. Don't worry about that shyness. You'll beat it eventually. In the meantime, would you stop being so bookish, and start just talking to people? People are nice. They like you. Man up. Also, one day, we'll be a cheerleader. Haha... I know, right?!

Walls Fall Down

I've been house-sitting (and pet-sitting) for my brother and sister-in-law while they're off in South Africa. Their adorable dog, Scrappy, spent the first three years of his life being abused. Thus, he is very mistrusting of most people. The only humans he's truly comfortable with are his parents, so the past few days have been a bit stressful and difficult.

But we've been making strides. His growling has decreased, and now only occurs when I go into Adam and Sierra's bedroom (where he spends 90% of his time). He's teeth-baring has decreased even more. Yesterday and this morning, he laid his head on my lap (but got a bit snappy when I tried to pet him). I was excited for his trust in me!

And then, minutes ago, this happened:

He let me pet him for about 5 minutes! There's a certain joy that comes from winning over the heart of an animal that has been wronged. I hope this can continue through my next two weeks of house sitting!

Dreamy...

The awesome thing about meringue is...

it's almost impossible for it to not look pretty.

Recipe from right here.