I'm Sorry I'm Not Married Yet, Kid.

I've been spending a lot of time lately wondering what 12-year-old Ashley would think of me. What spurred this reflection? I have no idea. But it happens every time I listen to Bon Iver. Which makes no sense, because his music really has nothing to do with childhood. But, nonetheless, I find myself constantly wondering what child me would think of adult me.

Firstly, she'd be stoked that I finished college so quickly; "Good work, adult me! Good work. But accounting? Huh..." She'd be ecstatic about the traveling I've been able to do; "We've been to New York? And London? And Paris?! We rock!" Little Ashley would be proud that we own a car now (and would think my car was the coolest thing ever) and that we have a grown-up job. She'd probably be confused and surprised about my Coachella experience, but I think she'd recognize that it will be awesome one day for her. She'd be so happy that we're still friends with the same people.

But... She'd be very disappointed with us that I haven't found someone to share my life with. Which depresses adult me just a bit. I told this to my mom, and she said, nah, young you would recognize the awesome life you've had. But I know a little 12-year-old, my Little Sister, Ariel. And she's constantly asking why I'm not dating or married yet. Kids, right? They just don't get it. I take solace in knowing that adult me is so happy with my life up to now. But I am a bit saddened in what Little Ashley would think of me. She already has confidence issues; I really don't want to add that "you're still single" burden on her.

Cheer up, kid. You'll get it some day. I hope. In the meantime, look through all these awesome travel trinkets I've obtained.

P.S. Don't worry about that shyness. You'll beat it eventually. In the meantime, would you stop being so bookish, and start just talking to people? People are nice. They like you. Man up. Also, one day, we'll be a cheerleader. Haha... I know, right?!