Up and Down

I'm feeling quite bi-polar lately. And I don't like it at all.

Lately, I go from so contentedly happy to so frustratingly depressed in just hours. Minutes, even. I can't figure it out.

Is it loneliness? This diet I'm on? Is it that I'm so bored with my life at the moment? Is it this cold weather and the Spring in the air?

I think it's probably all of these things mixed together. Except the diet, because I'm actually loving that! Guys, I've found my favorite diet ever!

Anyway, I need to get out of this serious bi-polar funk I've got going on. Because when I get in my depression moments, my thoughts become dangerously rebellious. I've considered tattoos (not really...), random make outs (maybe really...), hopping a plane to anywhere, drinking alcohol (this was a passing thought, and one that really terrified me, actually), and a million other crazy, out of character things. And I don't like the person I am when I'm thinking these things.

I need something to occupy my time and thoughts.

When I was in school from September through December, I literally had no time for these kinds of thoughts. Are these the leftover thoughts that I would have had after a break-up had I not been too busy? Do these thoughts come simply from having too much time to think? I just don't know.

Anyway, like I said, it's a bi-polar situation, and I would say 75% of my time is spent being the extremely happy person that I really am. I'm on a great diet, I'm super stoked for Spring to come, and I'm discovering a lot of new and fabulous music. So, don't get too worried about me.

But if you have any suggestions for hobbies I can do to occupy my time, I may seriously take you up on that.

P.S. If you watch American Idol, keep Paul McDonald and Casey Abrams on. They make me sooooo happy!