Words of Wisdom

as brought to you by my beautiful sister Aysia.

 

"You can't worry about what you'll leave behind.

They'll work it out.

It's a loss for them, yes absolutely,

but you have to make the best choice for you"

This case refers to the possibility of leaving a job behind.

But I think it has so many beautiful applications.

5 1/2 years

For five and a half years, I've been doing the same thing.

Not in my life... Wow, my life has changed dramatically in the last five and a half years.  I love who I am and who I have around me so much, and much of that has come from this stretch of my life. It's been an amazing ride.

But I've had the same job for the last five and a half years.  And it's been good to me!  But I've had my share of longings for something else.  Longing for a place that I'm passionate about, for something I can't wait to do every day.  Wishing for something that not only keeps me busy, but keeps me engaged and excited with my daily work.  Something that doesn't leave me wanting to browse the internet instead of doing my work.

I've sent in the occasional resume to job positions that look intriguing to me, and last week, I got a call for an interview.  On Monday, I took that interview.  It's for an accounting position at the Church Office Building.

The interview went well on my end.  After a LOT of anxiety and nervousness beforehand, once I was in the office, talking with two men who could be my future bosses, all of that anxiety melted away and I felt comfortable and at ease speaking with them.  I left that conference room, and immediately began wondering about my future.  Could I work for the church?  It'd certainly be a more conservative environment than where I work now.  I'd have to wear a skirt every day.  But I'd work for a company that drives me, that I'm passionate about.

In the end, I'd still be doing accounting.  I'd still be doing work that currently leaves me bored or uninterested at times.  Do I want change because this change is good and is coming from God?  Or do I want change for change's sake?  Is this more of the same thing, just packaged as a "new" opportunity?  If I don't get that call tomorrow for a second interview, all of this questioning will have been for nothing.  And I'll still be here, doing something that I like, that pays me well, that keeps me productive.  But not something I love.

If I do get that call, if I take that job... will it still just be a lack of something to love?

Domestic

I always knew I loved creating food products.  This is not news to anybody that knows me.  But the amount of cooking I do now that I have a husband for whom to make meals, and a kitchen that is all my own, I just cook constantly.  Like, so constantly.  I really really love it.

Baking our own homemade bread has become a pretty good habit that I really enjoy.  It's amazing how much better the bread is when you've made it yourself.  My loaves aren't as tall and light as the store brand stuff, but it's hearty and healthy and comes with a heaping side of self-satisfaction.  My favorite recipe so far is a Julia Child recipe, but I like to sub in some wheat flour.  Also, that same recipe made these beauties.

Homemade cinnamon rolls are so, so pretty.

All that being said, guess who has to help make a crapton of dinner rolls for Thanksgiving for my mom's family?  Guess who bought a big bag of Rhodes frozen dinner roll dough?

This morning, whilst getting dressed, I was like, I want to look nice, but I want to wear a t-shirt all day...?

I mean, is this allowed?  Is it okay that I'm wearing a baggy Janis Joplin band tee with a nice pearl necklace and pencil skirt?  I'm already wearing it, so your answer doesn't really matter much.  But some validation might be nice.

Lastly, I created an art project for myself.  We needed kitchen art.  And I went through thirty different possibilities and variations on possibilities in my mind and on the internet.  I finally decided on a crazy idea that I dreamed up myself, and I recruited the Lowe's, D.I., Amazon, and my Dad's wood cutting expertise, along with a $3 glue gun from Michaels, to create these awesome things.

I'm really quite proud of how they turned out.  They make me happy.  I just hope the wood glue and glue-gun glue holds up.

And lastly lastly, I got a subscription to rdio.com that allows me access to all the music ever made of all time.  It's super awesome and I definitely feel like I'm getting my money's worth.  Give it a shot if you like!  They have a limited access free subscription, I think.  And while you're there, give Milo Greene a listen.  New favorite band.

Weekend

Married weekends seem to always be busy.  But good busy.

Like going to college-hockey-games busy.

And buying pink cotton candy to support breast cancer.

(By the way, Ray apparently hates mascots.  He does not trust them.)

And we've been go-to-theme-parks-busy!

 Oh man, oh man, I LOVE Lagoon and was so bummed we didn't go this summer.  So imagine my delight when Megan invited us out for her birthday celebration.

AND Pioneer Village was open!  Oftentimes, if it's too cold, they keep that section closed.  Which is what has happened for the last two or three years I've been.

 We had a lot of fun exploring the old "shops",

discovering juke boxes, and the carriage house, which I never knew was there.

And we both LOVED the old post office.

 

Ha.  Ray was so excited about the faux meat shop.

(This pictures shows his excitement.  And makes me happy even though it's blurry.

Oh, and yes, we went on rides.

 Rattlesnake Rapids, since the day was surprisingly warm.

 Swings!  And Ray serenading me:

And of course, Samurai.  My very very favorite.

We had so much fun!  And Ray was a champ for riding rides and NOT throwing up.  (He had to skip a couple in order to be prepared for Samurai, which I told him he HAD to ride.)

So happy.  With our evening churros.

And then we went home and crashed HARD.

 

Pumpkin!

It's Fall time!

 

So, ya know, we make pumpkin things.  As you do.

From HOMEMADE pumpkin puree!

This is a big deal because it's the first time I've ever made my own puree,

and I expected it to be the scariest thing of all time.

Guess what, I was severely wrong.

Husband's favorite item was pumpkin chili made from this recipe.

Did you know the Smith's deli will cut you half-inch-thick deli turkey if you ask?

Did you know that it's pretty much the best thing?

Guess who's not making turkey dinner from scratch ever.

Ooh, ooh, but I also made Pumpkin Doughnut Muffins.

And husband (you all know Ray's name, but my affectionate term for things is almost always the generic word of whatever they are, so I'm sorry if that's annoying) said we should sell them.  Like, professionally.  So I think he also liked them a lot.

 

Ingredients:

Licked clean bowl:

Dipping the muffins in cinnamon-pumpkin pie spice-sugar:

Sneaking bites:

 Also, I homemade a mason jar of pumpkin pie spice, so I'm adding that to pretty much everything that doesn't already call for it.

Outfit Post: Keys and Bells

Hair:  Ponytail

Earrings:  Target (last season)

Necklace:  L.A. Flea Market find

(does that make me look cool?  also, it was supposed to be a gift that I decided to keep for myself.  Sorry Lacy)

Tank Top:  Kohls in Logan, when I forgot to pack my tank top,
and had to make an emergency purchase for Katie's wedding.

Cardigan:  I... don't know.

Wait, I just checked the tag.  It's Mossimo brand, so apparently Target.

Trouser pants:  Target

I'm rethinking these pants after this photograph.  The bells are too big.  It makes me thighs/butt look giant.  And short?  Please affirm to me that these things are actually not true...

Wedges:  H&M find on couples spring break to Vegas
Belt:  Same H&M trip

Goonies shirt hanging on wall:  Husband's nostalgia piece

iPhone case:  c/o Lacy

How to: Halloween Decor on the Cheap

See cute decor at your neighborhood Target.

In this case, a felt ghost pillow:

Consider the purchase.

Recognize that $15 for a felt pillow that will be used for a mere 30 days is unacceptable.

Tell your husband, pfft, I can make that myself.

Commit to your offhand remark.  Make a trip to Jo-Ann for supplies.

(1 yard black flannel fabric, 2 sheets white felt, 1 spool black string that you won't end up using, 2 14x14 travel pillows)

Spend three dollars more than the original pillow would have cost.

Justify spending more because you bought TWO pillows.

Crib Target's design.  Draw a general outline on the white felt.

Scrap the design and free-hand cut that crap.

Center your felt.  Realize you centered it on the wrong portion.

Re-center on the correct portion.

Pin the ghosts with safety pins, as you don't have any straight pins.

Hand-stitch on your ghosts while you watch General Conference.

Marvel at your handiwork.  Force compliments from your husband.

(It's cool, mine thinks sewing is hot.)

Cut your flannel to match the size of your pillow.

Fold over and sew the top and bottom to make 1 inch hems.

Fold and fold and re-fold until you're satisfied with the sizing.

Hold all things together with safety pins.

Sew your pillow sides with one quick stitch on each side.

Do this while watching Terminator 2.

Trust me.

It'll make the process 3,000x more enjoyable.

And, be stoked with your finished, knock-off Target pillow!

 

Oh, and the skull and crossbones one you free-handed, just for kicks.

Married.

I have officially been a wife for seventeen days now.

Those seventeen days have included:

-Dancing on the beach
-Awesome Mexican food
-Sex
-A Muir Woods exploration
-Eight airplane flights
-Three hotel stays
-Two rental cars
-Chocolate on chocolate with raspberry cake
-My very favorite people in the world
-A return to work. Twice.
-Returning of gifts
-Purchasing a food processor
-Two baths with bath bombs
-One meal overlooking the entirety of Aruba
-Two sailing excursions
-Countless iguana and lizard sightings
-So many presents (people are so generous, it warms my heart!)
-A temple dedication session
-The perfect SNL with JoGoLev and Mumford
-A new Mumford & Sons album
-Wonderings on how to be a good wife
-Fears that we'll slip into old-married-couple territory too soon
-Morning makeouts
-Eating two different cakes in one evening
-Third-season Community watchings

Seriously, and so much more.  It can't be real that we've only been married for slightly over two weeks.  It already feels like a lifetime.

An awesome lifetime.

Out Into Nothin'

I feel like I'm free falling.

And I have a firm knowledge that I'll land on my feet...

But in the meantime, I'm not sure whether to laugh or to scream.

So... Apparently, my aversion to change is still firmly in place.

Excited!

After having written a post about engagement woes, it's time to write a post about engagement awesomeness!

Firstly, the guy.  The guy is great.  I feel like each of you have heard me say my piece about how much I love this guy, but I'll go ahead and repeat it.  He's fun and considerate and clean and kind.  He knows when to calm me down and when to let me vent (usually).  He is stoked about travel and world cultures and food and all those things that I love.  He's super smart about scriptures and has a strong testimony and drive to do good.  He's infinitely patient.  I just love him.  Quite a bit.

Secondly, the parties.  Showers?  Those are great.  And not really because of the presents (though I'm constantly floored by everyone's generosity and kindess--it doesn't go unnoticed!)  But it's been so much fun to see friends and family that I don't really get to see very often.  I get to catch up with everyone and receive a million hugs and give a million thanks, and it's my favorite.

Thirdly, the support. Weddings are fun,  but they are WORK!  And I've had an incredible support system.  I'm so grateful to my mama for her endless amount of ideas and energy and work in creating something beautiful for her daughter.  And my poppa for his ingenuity and crazy ideas and his loving advice and for opening his pocketbook so generously.  I'm grateful to Lacy to have someone to bounce ideas off of, to support each other through this craziness, to lament together, and also to get super excited about cool wedding things.  I'm grateful to Megan and Kristin and Aubree for the wedding crafts they've put together out of the goodness of their hearts.  I'm grateful to my amazing brother Adam for the website and announcements he so beautifully created out of thin air.  I'm grateful to Jami and Katie and Lynsie and Aysia for their excitement and encouragement and kind words of support through all of this.

Lastly, the wedding.  California.  In less than three weeks.  With all of my favorite people in the world.  I cannot wait to party it up and to marry an incredible man and to have beach and sun time.  And to start a forever marriage.

Let me just say thank you to all of you.  And thanks again.

One Month to Go!

We are officially one month til D-Day.

31 Days.

Good crap!

Here's the Thing

about engagements.

No one tells you how hard it can be.  About waking up every morning, knowing how different everything will be soon.  That solitary bed will be no longer.  The luxury of the snooze button won't be as frequent.  The name you have, your family name, that changes to something new. That space in your mind for yourself grows smaller as you push it aside to make room for someone else.

When you've spent 26 years of life thinking of yourself, of your hopes and dreams, your flaws and imperfections, and your skills, too, your emotional state, just you... adding in a partner?  That's big.  His hopes and dreams, his future, and yours, his emotional state; that takes up valuable real estate in your mind.

And it's a relief.  To stop thinking about yourself.  Just stop, because there are other people in the world, too.

But it's also scary.  Because you can't change things for him.  You can offer help, and be the greatest cheerleader, and be the clown if he needs.  But you can't change how he feels, how he functions under the burdens.  And it's the same for him as well, not being able to change how you think and feel.

This whole idea, that two lives, two souls, two minds and hearts, can be intertwined as one... it's incredible and inspiring and actually REAL.  It's LOVE.  And people talk about how beautiful love is.

And I guess people talk about how hard marriage is, too.  But it seems like people skip the "here's how to..." part.  Here's how to overcome the emotional wrecks that happen.  Here's how to support each other.  Here's how to reconcile two lives that have been growing separate and strong for the formative life years.  Here's the honest truth, that being married is so much deeper and more complex than just "it's hard" or "it's the best thing ever".

It's somewhere in the middle and all the things at once.  I'm excited and anxious and scared, and mostly, I just hope that being scared doesn't mean that I can't also be excited.  Because I WANT to be that bride that jumps for happiness, that can't stop telling her friends how wonderful her fiance is, that confesses her love to strangers, and never stops smiling when she thinks of him.  But in that wanting, I find myself held back... by the realness of building a life that promises difficulties.

And promises love.  And happiness and excitement, and real joy and forehead kisses, late night walks and a hand to hold, for always.  And that's worth the "hard" of it all.

It will bring a lot of good thoughts to your heart...

On Being in Love...

It's fun!

It's an exciting, lovely adventure,

but also sometimes real tough,

and sometimes means going horseback riding.

 

Being in love includes new, awesome family

and dressing up for Jewish weddings.

It's dancing together,

even when we're not great at it.

 It's awesome enough that I feel like

probably even dinosaurs should have it.

Thus the new car dino.

I've brought Roger a girl named Lily.

I predict a long, happy, sometimes hard,

but overall amazing, married life for them.

Impromptu

Impromptu Things on a Sunday Evening, including:

A proposal to hike up Ensign Peak

Kid decisions to "lift the city".

 (I think Aspynn's face wins for 'most effort exerted')

 

 Seeing if the iPhone could capture jumping shots

Guess what, it can!!

And finding out I can still do cheerleading moves.

Although, the face proves that it takes more effort than it used to.

Engagement

First off, HUGE thank yous to Brian and Lacy for making these pictures happen.

You two are a rock star couple.  And I mean that in all the sincerest ways.

Secondly, being engaged is fun.  And stressful.  And emotional.

Guys, being in a full-on serious relationship is a million revelations about myself.  The main one being, oh, guess what, you are EXACTLY like that Dad of yours.  Fun times.

But also?  I've never been happier.  Wait, I've been happier at moments.  Like, Coachella moments and traveling moments and friends' weddings moments.  But this extended, fulfilled, looking-to-the-future kind of happiness?  That's new.  And great.

And Ray?  Well, he's just awesome. He handles my break-downs like a champ and knows how to make me smile when I'd rather poke someone in the eye.  That bodes well.  So well.

Happy-making

Yesterday was a not-so-great day...

But that fiance of mine, he sure knows how to cheer a girl up.

Also, sorry about being M.I.A. for the last little bit.  Life got CRAZY!

But GOOD!

Making Marshmallows

Kristin and I spent last night making raspberry-flavored marshmallows...

So excited to eat these up!

Burn Brighter Than the Sun

I just listened to the words of this song by Fun. for the first time.

I hope you all are burning brighter than the sun today.
For it's the first day of Spring,
and the world is renewing.
And you will never be younger than you are right at this moment.

Update:
And here's a good acoustic:

Words of Wisdom

As brought to you by my wise brother, Adam:

This is the thing with relationships… you have to find someone that you can hack out life with. Not someone who "completes" you, or someone you're "head over heels in love with". Life is damn hard, and it takes work. Do it with someone who is fun, positive, and kind

Love, as it exists in fairy tales and movies, doesn't really exist (IMO). There is infatuation, and lust, but a relationship that truly lasts the ages is one that requires simple teamwork, respect, and love

My advice is not to settle, but not to have enormous expectations for relationships

Also, does he have good taste in music?

Good Things:

Dinner with Katie tonight!

Slightly tanned skin from an indulgent work retreat

That boy I'm dating--still makes me happy

The fawn nestled on my hand

Green juice for breakfast

Couples Spring Break in Vegas--3 days away!

No Doubt's Sunday Morning that just played

Community's return to TV next week

Photo a Day Fail

Guys... I've kinda failed on this whole Photo a Day thing, haven't I? I've forgotten to take pictures for the past four days. Sorry about that.

I'm less sorry for you guys... Cause you probably don't care about seeing the inside of my bathroom cabinent, or a photo of money, or yet another photo of something I've eaten.

I feel a little bad for myself that I didn't follow through on this monthly goal. But don't worry. I won't feel bad for very long. In the life-spectrum of things, not taking four or five pictures probably won't change much.

The brain space I've used to focus on homework or that boy or my spiritual well-being or upcoming travels instead? Now that might change some things.

Photos a Day--21-23

Your shoes:

My boots! I love these boots.

Where you work:

This is rather uninspiring, isn't it?

I suppose I could have taken a better picture,

but that would have required me going back inside,

or finding a good camera angle,

and I was just ready to get out of there for the day!

A fave photo of you:

Hanging with Scrappy again after a month and a half of not seeing him.

He still loves me!!!
I was so, so happy!